Evelyn and Billy had breakfast spread out in the open area outside our room. Muffins with jelly inside, fresh fruit and coffee. We said we would start at 9:00 AM. We got started at 9:50 - not bad. After beginning with a prayer, which I began and Reverend Logan wrapped up, we asked, "so what was it like to take these pictures?"

"It was an eye opening experience. "

"I knew it was bad but it is worse than I thought."

"At first people didn't want to be involved. They didn't want to have their picture taken."

"That old man I took a picture of ... when he first saw me he was like, "no, no, get out of here," but I went up and talked to him. I told him about what we were doing and after a while he turns to me and says, "can you cook?" I said, "of course I can cook." Well, after we talked for about thirty minutes he let me take his picture. I baked him a cake last week and took it to him."

The group discussed how having a conversation can change a person's mind.

Facilitator: "How did taking the pictures change you?"

"I started to remember how it was when I first came. Businesses were thriving. It was a nice place."

"I really wanted to take a picture of Metro bus, but I couldn't find one."

"I knew we had some problems out in the neighborhood but this was an eye opener."

"We have the same stuff that they show on TV of third world countries. It is right here and we are living in it."

"Today is a chance to take it to the next step."

"Look with new eyes that don't gloss over the problems but can still see a bright future."

"In 1955 Our community was out in the country. It was a good looking place - no dumps. Then, progress moved in, The people that owned the homes passed on. There was no one to take over. People just didn't care. In some ways, progress helped, but people started using these places for dumping grounds."

"The trash you see is not from here in our community. Other people bring it in and use our neighborhood for a dump."

"Causes us to wonder what is happening right now and what is not happening right now."

"No one will insure houses in our community. They don't just say that outright, but I called and they were all helpful until I told them where my house is. All of the sudden...they didn't say we don't insure in X community, but I caught what they were meaning."

"A year ago I tried to order pizza and found that they won't come out here (everyone nodded in agreement)."

"I knew a lady that was thinking about buying a home in. Her realtor told her, "don't buy there, go any where but there."

If you wanted it to change who would you expect to drive the change?

"If not you, who? If not now, when?"

Facilitator: What I've noticed is that in large groups there is usually one or two who do all the talking and all the deciding and everyone else just nods (agreement). What are we going to do different? It is time, not to give up trying, but to give up doing the things that just don't work. Pushing people creates resistance. Our goal is to create stories that are impossible to resist. We are conjuring up inspiration. Inspiration is something that weaves through each step...from thinking about taking the pictures to talking to the person whose picture you are taking, to someone else looking at the pictures and then telling another person about how it touched them. We want 20 pictures that will speak to people's hearts so they want to be part of this process. Choose the pictures that draw you in and you will choose pictures that draw others in."

Facilitator: "This is a three step process. First you have 20 dots. The sixty one pictures here each have a piece of paper attached with the story. Place your dots as votes on the pictures you want to see represent us. We will choose the 30 pictures with the most votes. If you like a picture a lot you can vote more than once, but you still only have 20 votes."

Facilitator: "Then we will have a facilitated dialogue about what we see. Each of us sees a piece of the picture. None of us is as smart as all of us. The dialogue will change us, change what we see."

Facilitator: "After that, we will vote again with the blue dots. You each will have ten votes. The 20 highest will become the 20 we use. Once we have those we will wrap up and consider what actions we want to take next." (Note: Discussion about actions were purposely deferred so they didn't sabotage the dialogue process of collective introspection.)

Facilitator: (Read a poem) "We need to let our feelings into the discussion. We need to let the truth of our feelings in - even if it hurts. This is who we are. This is part of who X Community is."

"Could we not also look at what it was. Because it was beautiful."

"Decay and death is a part of life and in order to be reborn, we have to die. So it's possible that the community has experienced a sort of death."

People stood and told their stories with the pictures chosen. Most read what they had written. Some stories were very poetic with a lot of metaphor.

Some added details of the experience of taking the picture:

PICTURE UU: "This old man he paid some people to came out to his house to fix it up. It looked okay at the time but a year later when it started falling apart, he found out it was just a scam. People say why don't he take care of things? Well he tried and when he got scammed there is no one he can turn to. Also, you look here - he may not have a lot but the house is neat and clean. On days he feels good, he told me he goes out and helps the kids crossing the street by the school. They offered to pay him but he said he doesn't want to be paid. His own children only come to visit once a year."

Picture XX: "Groceries here are very high. These people said they wouldn't be caught dead in our community after dark. They put their children in the car and hurry away."

Dialogue Set up:

Facilitator: (First I told my own story about trying to make it happen "my way." It didn't work so I took time to "just sit and think about things and be quiet.") "This is what we are going to do. If we are quiet I believe it will be revealed to us. We have to be willing to face the truth, to share our stories, to admit we don't know how to fix this, to admit that we want to fix it.

Dialogue to an extra strength conversation. We aren't going to talk about action plans because all that gets us is an action plan that doesn't materialize.

Dialogue was used by some tribes for governing. They used mutual understanding and mutual beliefs instead of imposed rules.

What gets in way of dialogue?

People shut down or don't shut up. Conflict, anger, fighting.

Introduced the Five Stages of Dialogue:

1. Polite & Pretending
2. Chaos
3. Discarding and Redefining
4. Resolution
5. Closure

Dialogue Began.

Facilitator:: "What do you see?"
"I see a lot of distress, condition of the dumps -- I think we're making progress -- I think we'll be able to come out of this."

"How can we bring more pride? We see so many run-down houses. I'd like to see more pride in our community. This is a good start to show all of our community."

"People on the outside think this place is terrible."

"I've lived in Our community all my life and I wouldn't want to live anywhere else. But people on the outside think this is the worse place to live in the world. But it is a good place to live."

"I've been here 42 years and when I came, it was booming. It was prospering-- businesses everywhere. When I sit in this circle I look around and I'm depending on you youth to help make things better. Don't wait until you get older to help. We need you now. "

"This is a talking thing. We need to talk to people about what they can do."

"I been talking to people about this, saying we don't have to live like this. We can bring the business back."

"I'd like to see everybody excited about being in X community. New people coming to X community. Get people excited on the weekends to come to the park."

"Look at the young people, they are sleeping. Not about sleeping, being bored but like they already lost the battle."

(The nine slumped, teenage forms weren't participating in the dialogue. However, as you will see, it was the wagging fingers and criticisms of "you young people need to..." that were contributing to their apathy)

"Did you know we will be getting a 3 million dollar ball field coming in 2002? These new ball fields - that ought to get you excited" (it didn't).

"One of the problems is that we have three different school districts separating all of the our community people in to different groups."

"Is that part of X? I didn't know that. It is strange to say but I've been here since '61 and I don't know where boundaries are."

"We need to learn from the Bible. Even when Jesus fed the multitudes... after the miracle there was more work to be done. The people of X are going to have to roll up their sleeves, walk the walk and talk the talk. You are going to have to roll your sleeves up and get to work. I look at those pictures up there and I say, "No!" We are here today because God has got us together here today. This is only the first step of something big happening here in X."

(not a teenager raised their eyes)

" I was raised in X and I moved out as soon as I could. But the Lord called me to come back home. The Lord sent me this bible verse about going to Bacca. I looked up Bacca and it means a place outside Jerusalem that was like a dump site. When I asked my brother if I could move back in to our parent's house. He said yes, but there was no lights, no phone, the house was dirty. I cleaned and cleaned. The carpet was black...there was candle wax all over the floors (many in the room knew this was a reference to crack). I moved all my stuff back in after I cleaned the house. The hardest part was watching the change in my daughter. She is very black, and in the other school no one noticed but among her peers she is now teased. There is discrimination for being "too black." She doesn't wear her favorite clothes anymore. She doesn't like them anymore and I know it is because she doesn't want to look different from the neighborhood kids (the implication is that her favorite clothes are too "good"). She changed the way she dresses. My brother was having visitors at 2, 3' o clock in the morning. My things started going missing. My brother sat right there as I was filling out the police report....(pause) sso I realize that the house I'm living in is a crack house. You can get to a place where you feel like enough is enough. I got my brother taken out of the house, tried to fix up my house. I took pictures of houses the way I wanted them to look. Took picture of cemetery. We get used to it and it's all normal and we don't feel anything anymore. I was laughing when I told Grace that I might just take a picture of my house. I was kidding but now I look at these pictures and I realize - my house doesn't look much better. I didn't even see it."

"That is the problem. It doesn't matter to us anymore. We've all adjusted to it because we see it every day. Now what are we going to do about it?... something needs to be done! We are just sitting here chopping our gums. How can you look at these pictures and be satisfied with this?"

"Well, we need to start by doing one thing at a time. Fix one house at a time and others will join. You can't fix everything at once. How can we make his place better?"

"From where I sit the city does very little. I have called, screamed. Fussed..."

"Why aren't you young people talking? What have you got to say?"

(young man) "Well, when I see tires there-- I hear that on heavy trash day that each house can put up to four tires in front of their house and they will be picked up. You can put up to four tires out there. I can go get at least four of the tires that have been dumped on the street and put them in front of my house."

"Those aren't even our tires. People bring those in from outside. They are expensive to dump and that is why they dump them here."

Facilitator: "I want to point out what just happened. A young person spoke and was not really acknowledged. That was a good idea about the tires. Ask yourself... How big is the group having a dialogue right now?" (response: about four people) "Let's ask those that aren't participating (mostly youth) what is it that is making you feel like you don't want to participate? Could those who haven't participated please put your hand up?"

"I haven't talked...I have pride in my community. I love X. Last Sunday we had Fun Day at the park and at 6:00 the police were telling everybody to go home. I bet it's not happening in River Oaks (white community). Why are they telling the kids 3,4,5 years old swinging on the swing telling them to go home? When the police left, everybody came back. Same way when we want to play basketball at night."

"Why don't you come to a PIP's meeting and ask the police? What are you doing about it?"

(the young man slumped back down into silence so I asked the group to acknowledge what he felt.)

Facilitator: "How did it make you feel?

"violated"

Facilitator: "and angry?"

"yeah"

"Does anyone here not know what it is like to experience injustice? Where is Malcolm supposed to go to talk about his anger? What is he supposed to do with it, when no one listens to him?"

"I feel so many different emotions looking at the pictures. They are just emotional pictures."

(another young person) "I love X but if you tell others that you live there people look down on you. But you see people who want to do something but if you mention it they say, "why don't you do it" ...but one person can't do it by himself."

(older man) "I was born and raised here. I'm not satisfied with how it looks, it don't make no sense for people to be here so long and just let it go down. We need to get started right now. So people that come from outside will say we have a nice community. X need to be proud so it will mean something."

Facilitator: "I want to reflect back what is going on in your group. There are two empty chairs here (two young people ducked out). What causes that? I want to ask you to think about how you are talking to each other for just a few minutes. One thing I see, and I know you've done this before, is to sit around and say, 'this is what you ought to be doing" BUT it hasn't worked before and it probably won't work now."

"Do we need to make a specific dump site for people to bring their garbage... so at least it's just in one place?"

"I was in Virginia recently - which is the cleanest state and I asked - how do you do it? They told me that different families take different parts of the road to keep clean. We could try that."

"We should find out who our representative is and use these pictures to influence our legislature."

"Compared with other parts of town, X has clean air. The boy that said he would take 4 tires and put in front of his house to be taken away on heavy trash day is on the right track. We need to each become a one man committee, so our action starts a chain reaction. You young people can help, when you are out at night and see people dumping illegally take their license plate numbers and give it to parents."

(still not much response from the youth)

"I want to know: what about the money we need? How much money is it going to take to fix this place" (points to picture).

(older man) "You don't need money - you need to do something. I cut my neighbors yard. In my neighborhood, if you don't cut your grass you neighbor will ask you to cut it. Get out there and do things. If you put 4 tires in front of your house someone is going to ask, "what are you doing?" and you can tell them and maybe they will do it too. Get out there and cut their grass if it needs cutting."

"Cutting grass is a lot different from building houses when it comes down to money."

(older man) "We've got this free lunch program, everybody on that program and they are running around wearing 150 dollar sneakers." (raised voice)

(young man, intensely) "Not everybody who lives in a run down house has 150 dollar sneakers."

(the tension is palpable, a woman across the room changes the subject and everyone seems relieved to have avoided a conflict.)

Facilitator: "I want you call your attention to what just happened. These two men were about to reach true dialogue. Did you feel the tension? (nods) But you tried to move on."

(older man) "These people are all talk and no action. I have taken upon myself, I have bought my till to start building..."

(young man) "My grandfather's house is one that - he invests to keep it up, but his house looks like a lot of older people's houses. He has plants and decorations in his front yard. They may not look good to some people but it looks good to him. He hired someone to fix the house but when the people who fix his house don't do the quality work ---what is he supposed to do?"

"Get out there an do it yourself. I get sick of seeing these $150 sneakers - and I know that if the parents don't buy these kids $150 shoes the kids are going to find a way to get them and it might not be legal."

"I may be wearing $150 shoes, I have my pants low below my waist, and when I'm listening to my music you..."

(the adults take a collective sigh of disgust at the mention of rap music)

Facilitator: "I see an opportunity to connect here. Rap music is very popular with your youth. You who want to inspire the youth - why don't you ask what is it they like so much about this music? You might learn something. One of you who likes rap, would you describe for us your favorite song and why it is your favorite?"

"I like the Eminem song where he sings, "I'm tired of those cocky Caucasians trying to tell me what I'm trying to be when all I'm trying to be is myself."

Facilitator: "Who here can't identify with that? Look around do you notice something?"

(adult) "The kids are sure awake. I haven't seen them pay this much attention since...I don't know."

"I listen to the music because they talk about real issues."

"I'm fascinated right now by death, one song I like says, "if the good die young... why am I still here? I'm good. And then I ask myself why be good? What good does it do me to be good?" Then the song says, "My teacher told me I would never amount to nothing." See he's trying his best but what is he getting out of it? That's how I feel."

"What I like about the rappers is they film their videos right in their own place. They don't leave when they get the money. They are always going back to the hood."

(adults are shutting down now)

"What are they talking about? What is a Hood?"

"Going back to the neighbor-hood. They stay committed to the hood."

"The don't forget where they are from. Even when they make money they come back to the hood."

(minister) "I don't know what profanity in music has to offer. But I know what I'm going to do. This is an election year. These politicians are all coming by now saying we're going to do this and we are going to do that and after the election we won't see them again for a few years. So I'm joining the civic club and my son over there will be joining with me."

(kids shut down again)

"Our civic clubs have gotten street lights, blacktop on streets..."

"Where my brother-in-law lives people help each other, mow lawns, but here if you do that people get mad. Me and my brother tried to pick up around the neighbor's house and people got mad. You can't...

"I hate to hear the word 'can't. Can't means failed..."

Facilitator: "We are getting combative here. I want to ask the minister, If you were forced to balance two priorities which one would you choose? a.) not allowing the f--- word in the room OR b.) coming together as a community to revitalize the community?"

(shocked) "Can you say that again?"

(conversations erupt)

(adult woman) "We complain about their music...but our parents complained about ours too....B.B.King sang, "nobody loves me but my momma and sometimes I think she is jivin' too." That is the same thing really. It feels bad to wonder if your mother might not even love you."

"To broaden it a bit. My father was a minister and he always said if you get the kids there, God will give them something to do. But we don't wait for God, we attack them the minute they come in...tell them what is wrong with how they dress...we tell them what they ought to be doing."

(the kids are still engaged)

"For 20 years there were no guitars in church, now there are guitars, There were no drums allowed, now there are drums."

"Well the youth need to understand how things work. That young man who was so upset about the police running them off - is he going to the PIP meeting? Is he going to ask, why?"

"I doubt it. If I say something they will just tell me whatever they want and they won't listen."

"You can't expect to run the show the first time you show up."

Facilitator: "Let's step back a minute. Every time your finger starts wagging I see the young people shut down."

"All of you young people are very smart"

Facilitator: "Your finger is still wagging. Could everyone here role play his last statement?"(they wagged their fingers and mocked preaching postures and he sat back and took it like a champ - but he saw how he was coming across.)

(Teen) "You older people think we are shiftless and lazy... us young people think you don't know nothin'. I've had that in the back of my mind for a while."

(older man) "I'm going to take my kids with me to civic club meetings."

(kids roll their eyes and shake their heads)

Facilitator to kids: "How do you feel about that?"

(young man): "I'm not going. There are older people there."

(others agree)

(older man) "But we have to be role models, they need to learn. We need to teach them how to..."

Facilitator: How effective is it if they aren't there?"

(older woman) "We have to start listening to them, we don't have to agree but we have to listen"

"I notice when you mention rap music the kids eyes light up, so maybe we need to use the rap music to light up their eyes."

( a parent) "Addressing the park issue, every park closes at 6:00 PM, even in white neighborhoods, it is not just a black issue."

(for the first time the young man listens without skepticism)

Facilitator: "Maybe what we can teach each other is a better way to deal with how we feel when we have been treated unjustly. When we feel that anger or apathy, it is the same difference. How we deal with injustice. What are some of the ways we can deal with the injustice on a daily basis?"

(young man): "I'm not going to that meeting because I can already see myself being turned down. Am I going to have one of you elder's standing up there with me?"

"I'll stand with you."

"Then I'll come."

"Well you young people shouldn't come to civic club meeting and on the first night say your say and then leave. We want you to come and be involved. Come and listen for a couple of weeks."

Facilitator: "Are you going to do that?"

(heads shake no)

Facilitator: "It isn't going to happen. Look, they are already bored again. This dialogue may feel like it has wandered off the subject of what we need to do in X. But what we have here is a laboratory. You guys have been talking for 2 hours about what you "should be doing." Let's think about what is going right and what's going wrong with the way you've been talking to each other. No matter what you decide to do, in any situation a group with this diversity of age this is going to happen. Exactly this. Fix this and you can do ANYTHING."

Facilitator: "During this dialogue you have had an opportunity to learn a lot about the way you talk to each other and they way you get involvement and how you shut down involvement. You learned some things about respect, injustice, personal action... I heard you walk right into the vast wasteland of the generation gap. It wasn't fun and it won't be next time either but it's worthwhile. This is the place where you can connect. In order to change the reality that these pictures show, you will have to use these lessons as you move forward."

BREAK

Facilitator: "Think about where else these pictures can go so that they can generate conversations like the one we had today. So they can change what other people see, how they think, and their choices about what they want to do. Who would you like to show these pictures to?"

Facilitator: "Mayor, churches, councilpersons, restaurants, supermarket, court house, governor, libraries, district representatives, hair salons, barber shops."

Facilitator: "Think about your responsibility to make them available."

We formed two groups - one of youth and one of adults to take the pictures around.

Results:

1. Volunteers of evangelists: adults and youth.

2. Step One - allow these pictures to change others.

3. We will display with the pictures a list of "Things You Can Do" so when they see these pictures and want to do something then there are lots of ideas right there.

THINGS YOU CAN DO

If you want to facilitate a display of these photos in your place of business, club, or church, call this number: ###-####.

If you see tires dumped by the side of the road, pick up 4 tires to put in front of your house on heavy trash day so they will be picked up.

If you see someone dumping illegally, get their license plate number and call police: "rat on a rat" (this is the phone number).

Even better, if you can, take pictures of illegal dumping and report it.

Join a civic club and/or get involved with your civic club.

If you know of an abandoned house, report it to DRT (###-####).

If you are in a position to do so, please, encourage better cooperation from our city departments:

• Solid waste
• Neighborhood protection
• DRT
• City Council person (let them know we need their help).
• Pick up the trash you see around your own neighborhood.
• Contribute your ideas for neighborhood development to the X governing board. The phone number is ###-####.

Facilitator: "To close, tell the group what you plan to do personally, as a result of this project:."

"Join the civic club."

"Take kids."

"Take care of man in picture (who she didn't know before)."

"Keep my own house clean. It needs a lot of work."

"Pass the word to family and church members."

"Reinstate my membership with my civic club."

"Keep community clean."

"Help the older people in the community."

"Pick up the trash around my neighborhood clean and influence my school friends to do it too."

"Make extra effort to pick up trash instead of passing it by."

"I would like to get all kids phone numbers so I can call you to help on the projects we do."

"Clean up around house, street."

"Help my grandmother into my generation."

"Try to listen to some rap must - clean rap - talk about the issues around the rap."

"Keep people from dumping at end of our street (dead end), spread the word."

"Pick up tires for heavy pickup day."

"Start at home."

"Get more involved in civic club, spread the word of what we did today."

"Support community."

"Put the pictures and stories on my web site. Contact journalists to write stories."

"Clean up neighborhood."

"Pick up trash in neighborhood."

"Think bigger - there is grant money out there. All they want to see is that you will do something great with it. What do you want?"

"I have a dream - I want to see a grocery store here... a co-op maybe, with pharmacy- health center, day care... built by the community, employing community."

"What would it take to make it happen?"

"Yeah, we could put in 24 hour day care, an after hour gymnasium."

"Where the police won't run you off."

"A weight room, open after 6."

"It could be a real co-op; with in-kind service available. When I was working 11-7 I couldn't get day care. We could have it so you work there you can get day care center or dry cleaning or gym privileges."

Afterward: The group decided to start working with X Community Partnership Governing Board (who cancelled last months meeting since there was nothing to talk about). They intend to solidify their ideas and pursue a grocery store or town center.

Will they succeed? Will they really make it happen? Who knows. Time will tell. They certainly are more animated and hopeful than they were four weeks ago. Asking the group, what would you like to say in closing.

"These pictures are just the tip of the iceberg. It opened my eyes and it will open other's eyes."

"This has been a mirror to see ourselves. Now it is up to us to do the rest."

One parent came up afterwards and said, "You have no idea how much impact this project has had. My son wasn't doing very well in school. After that first day, he has been working hard in school. He told me "Now I see why I need to work hard - so I can make a difference."

Final Entry

It is now two years since I sat next to a stranger (Nurse B) on an airplane bound for Denver. Now I call her a friend. Over the last two years we have tested four one-day community-building experiences designed to create social capital and a sense of personal responsibility within a neighborhood that had no hope. We found that when people (who have been "powerless") find their voice/power they disrupt the old distribution of power. Storytelling reveals truth… beautiful truths and ugly truths.

The process awakened members of the community, stimulated introspection, a redefinition of identity and it created momentum, excitement and (surprise, surprise) conflict. The results included profound changes in individual levels of self-efficacy, isolated change in the community (a new house for several who needed it, clean ups, etc.) a temporary collective effort, failure (momentum lost in parliamentary procedures), and a continuing re-organization of collective efforts outside of the partnership framework Several individuals are pursuing a block nurse program on their own. Their frustration with the slow movement of the governing board (after five years they have done nothing except determine that they probably need to do another needs assessment) finally caused them to go around the existing structure and act independently. Which, frankly was EXACTLY what we had hoped for.

The University people who were hired to support the partnership came after us with a vengeance. We presented our methods and results at a conference along with one of the community members and all hell broke loose. On hindsight I can see it didn’t make them look too good. They stirred up enough anger with some of the community members (governing board officers — also part of the lack of action) to get them to send a letter out (not to me, of course) accusing me of "exploiting" the community for my own" personal profit". Here I had donated all my flights (several thousand dollars) and all my time … I was deeply hurt. I had to question myself — was I doing this for my own personal profit? I’m pretty sure I want to evangelize about what story can do — so I do have an agenda — but I’m turning down business so it is hard to imagine the "personal profit" angle. I put this on the web so you don’t have to hire a consultant — so you can experiment with PhotoStory with a little more confidence than if you only read a recipe. I’m confident that my motives are clean. I want to create community action and if it ticks off the current power structure — so be it. Ultimately I’m hoping more stories will appear here — yours, in fact.

In August, 2000 when we passed out 40 disposable cameras and asked the group to create pictures that "told the story" of their community — we had no idea what power we were unleashing. According to one participant, choosing which pictures to take, what story to tell, and discussing each other’s stories: "opened our eyes." New eyes see new possibilities. If you think about it — this was bound to stir up trouble. Hell, I CHOSE Nurse B because she had stirred up enough trouble to get kicked out of a school system. But consider some of the results:

Bobby a 7^th grader told his mom "Now I understand why you want me to do good in school." His grades improved significantly.

Andre, only 23 years old, began participating in the dialogue by defending rap music from the attack of a minister who called it trash. He was suspicious and cynical. After the two days, he joined the X community governing board and found his voice. He actively pursued equipment for a local park. He said, "This has totally changed my life. Now I can be proud of something I am doing." He was awarded a "volunteer spirit award" by one of the community civic clubs in 2001. Unfortunately he quit the governing board in 2002. But he continues to work with civic clubs that are more active.

Clarice, a childcare worker began to dream again. She also joined the governing board. She built a model of her dream with Lego: a town center with childcare, pharmacy and a co-op grocery. And….she also quit the governing board. She is spear-heading the block nurse program. She set up amps in her back yard and "broadcast" her thoughts every Friday night for several weeks. She is also beginning to preach in more conventional settings.

The group chose twenty pictures to "open the eyes" of others. These "photostories" went to churches, schools, civic groups, and to relevant government agencies. A few individuals decided to stop waiting for "somebody to do something" and try to "do it ourselves."

When Clarice and Andre joined the "governing board" ideas were pitched and rejected. They were told they needed to "understand how things were done." They quit a year later. Efforts to transfer "new" leadership strategies and collaborative decision making techniques were eclipsed by old habits of parliamentary procedures and traditional power structures.

And yet…there is Grace:

The day before our first intervention - Betsy took me to Grace’s house. Grace is about 60 years old. She survived spinal cancer but the radiation treatment left her nerves raw and exposed. She has a morphine pump in her abdomen but you can tell she is still in pain by how carefully she moves But her smile is bright and she laughs easily. We shared our stories for about an hour. Grace did without water for two years. On her crutch she would get water from her neighbors hose to flush the toilet, wash and cook.

During the intervention Grace nodded off a lot — the effects of the morphine. But at the end she smiled and said, "You really can change things. You just have to have the right people." I told her, "We do have the right people. We have you, me, Nurse B, and the rest of the people in this room." She smiled and added, "and the Lord!" Her hope was to build a town center like Clarice had constructed — or at the very least a clinic.

During the first day we used the movie "Amistad" to illustrate "overcoming impossible obstacles" and "whoever tells the best story wins." Grace rented the movie and watched it four more times. Unfortunately, the clinic Grace had hoped for, doesn’t look like it will happen. However, Grace is instrumental in the new program organized outside the governing board through Clarice to develop block based homecare. Four months ago she had her morphine pump removed….she is in more pain…but she doesn’t fall asleep quite as often. She is awake…very awake.

Ultimately that is what this exercise was about — waking people up. I learned that this should never be done lightly. I was blind too. I was blind to the amount of suffering that had caused all of us to keep our eyes shut. It was almost unbearable to hang with the process of opening our eyes — it would have been so easy to close them again. I was also blind to the fact that some of the problems for poor communities are actually reinforced by the systems and structure of the social services that are supposed to help them.

Next time (and there WILL be a next time — already in process) I plan to run the PhotoStory process at two levels — first with the agencies that are supposed to be helping the community and THEN, with the community. It is cruel to wake a community up and have their new hopes dashed by over-controlling committees or "governing boards." I won’t make the same mistake twice…I’ll make NEW mistakes! (smile, which is the only way I learn). I am deeply grateful for this experience and for the people I met. I got a letter from Clarice this week, she says:

"Dear Annette,

Words really escape me and I attempt to write you and express my joy in having met you — having learned from you. (some really nice stuff) …I love you. Thank you, With my most sincere prayers.

Clarice"

It is I who have learned. And my joy in meeting Clarice (and Grace, and Andre, etc.) is profit enough. When we went to the conference to present PhotoStory, Nurse B, Clarice and I all stayed in one hotel room. One night we started singing. Clarice taught me this song:

I know a place

Ain’t nobody crying

Ain’t nobody worrying

Ain’t no smilin’ faces

Lying to the races

C’mon and help me now

I take you there

I’m hoping that story is going to take us all there.