Menu of Rules for Dialogue
Here’s an intentionally too long list of rules that help a group THINK “Which ones would be most beneficial for us here, now, today?”
Possible Rules for Dialogue
No Leader*
|
Act As Colleagues |
| No Agenda* |
Listen and speak without judgment* |
| No Decisions* |
Acknowledge each Speaker |
| No Task* |
Respect Individual differences* |
| Suspend Certainties* |
Suspend Roles and Status |
| Listen to Your Listening |
Balance Inquiry and advocacy |
Slow Down the Inquiry*
|
Avoid Cross-talk |
| Be Aware of Thought |
Focus on Learning* |
| Maintain Peripheral Attention |
Seek the Next Level of Understanding |
Suspend Assumptions
|
Maintain a Spirit of Inquiry* |
| Befriend Polarization* |
Devalue Consistency |
| Observe the Observer |
Be Vulnerable |
Speak Personally*
|
Embrace the Painful and the Pleasant |
| Avoid Generalizations |
Speak when “Moved” |
| Don’t Fix or Convert Others |
Release the Need for Specific Outcomes |
* Recommended “Core” Rules of Dialogue
|
Sample One Day Agenda for Dialogue
Dialogue Training
(with introduction to territorial games model)
DESCRIPTION: a developmental process that improves relationships by re-framing perceptions of territorial behavior, increasing awareness of games, and providing alternative behaviors. The group skill of dialogue is taught and practiced so that participants are given the opportunity to learn and use new thinking tools and communication strategies that increase perceptual agility and improve understanding, thus expanding personal perceptions of "what is possible."
OUTCOMES: This process will help participants:
· address potentially debilitating issues of "turf" and destructive internal competition
· think differently, more creatively
· release traditional thinking and outdated goals without invalidating past efforts
· agree on fundamental issues and priorities
· make agreements that they plan to keep
· surface and dispel underlying apathy or frustrations that corrupt action
· build coherence between team members
· face big decisions on who they are and what they want.
· discover a way to make personal goals congruent with group goals
· collectively discover a source of enthusiasm for collaboration
Group Process Consulting
Dialogue Training
Agenda
Laying the Groundwork
What will success look like for you?
Territorial Instincts - a Theoretical Framework
Mindless Responses
Ten Territorial Games
How to Decrease/Pre-empt Territorial Games
Need a Map - Interactive Self-Diagnostic Exercise
What Doesn't Work
Mandating Cooperation
Superficial Solutions
Pretending
What Does Work
Heightened Awareness
Redefining the Enemy
Fostering a Dialogue between "Territories"
Sharing a Bigger Picture
Dialogue Process
Dialogue - What is it? Why do it?
Group Dynamics - process losses and the secret of good group decisions
(Q decision X Q acceptance)
Five Stages of Dialogue
Four Predicable Group Escape Strategies
Four Predictable Thought Routines That Sabotage Group Process
Buy-In Process (Wants/Don't Wants)
Dialogue Session (two hours at least)
Harvesting Improved Group Progress
Articulate New Group Agreements
Closure
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Sample Two Day Agenda for Dialogue
TWO DAY AGENDA
Dialogue Training
Using the Territorial Games Model and Story Factor
DESCRIPTION: a developmental process that improves relationships by re-framing perceptions of territorial behavior, increasing awareness of games, and providing alternative behaviors. The group skill of dialogue is taught and practiced twice in two days so that participants are given learn, use, reflect and try again new thinking tools and communication strategies that increase perceptual agility and improve understanding, thus expanding personal perceptions of "what is possible."
OUTCOMES:
Address potentially debilitating issues of "turf" and destructive internal competition
Think differently, more creatively
Release traditional thinking and outdated goals without invalidating past efforts
Agree on fundamental issues and priorities
Make agreements that they plan to keep
Build coherence between team members
Face big decisions on who they are and what they want.
Discover a way to make personal goals congruent with group goals
Collectively discover a source of enthusiasm for collaboration
ADDED OUTCOMES FROM SECOND DAY:
Test new perspectives and communication tools in a way that exposes weaknesses
Address and reinforce weak shifts to a more sustainable level
Deeply examine and retain an understanding of the unique dilemmas facing each individual in the room
Harvest decisions from new congruent thinking
Group Process Consulting
Dialogue Training
Agenda Day ONE
Laying the Groundwork
What will success look like for you?
Territorial Instincts - a Theoretical Framework
Mindless Responses
Ten Territorial Games
How to Decrease/Pre-empt Territorial Games
Need a Map - Interactive Self-Diagnostic Exercise
What Doesn't Work
Mandating Cooperation
Superficial Solutions
Pretending
What Does Work
Heightened Awareness
Redefining the Enemy
Fostering a Dialogue between "Territories"
Sharing a Bigger Picture
Dialogue Process
Dialogue - What is it? Why do it?
Group Dynamics - process losses and the secret of good group decisions
(Q decision X Q acceptance)
Five Stages of Dialogue
Four Predicable Group Escape Strategies
Four Predictable Thought Routines That Sabotage Group Process
Buy-In Process (Wants/Don't Wants)
Dialogue Session (two hours at least)
Harvesting Improved Group Progress
Articulate New Group Agreements
Closure
Group Process Consulting
Dialogue Training
Agenda Day TWO
The Story Factor –
Story's Psychology of Influence
People Need to KNOW!:
Who are you? and
Why are you here?
Six Principles of Effective Storytelling
Developmental
Participation or Control
Who is the Beneficiary?
Imagery
Oral Language
Intention
The Emotions of Story: Shifting the Emotional State of Listeners
Individuals share WHO/WHY Stories
(Facilitated Group Process with Coaching)
LUNCH
Solving Problems or Managing Polarities
Review of Yesterday’s dialogue
Facilitator Advice based on previous dialogue
SECOND DIALOGUE
Harvesting New Learning
Group Agreements
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